With two carers – who is the boss?
Eventually during your career as a live-in carer, you will be asked to work in a double carer booking. Unless you specifically ask not to be considered for this, you will at some time find yourself working alongside another carer.
In an ideal world, both carers agree with each other and work in peace and harmony. Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world. Even in real life, and the live-in care situation, there does not have to be a carer who is the boss. Both of you are paid the same amount and expected to do the same job.
Hopefully you both get along, and in theory, this is what should happen, considering that the goal is the same. This is the health and safety of your client.
That’s the theory. In practise things may not work out that way. People are all different, with some characters being more forward and outspoken than others. Some people are born leaders, while others may seem content to go along with the status quo.
So, who gets to call the shots? As the incoming carer, you are the one who is starting off on the back foot, so to speak. The other carer has been there a little longer and probably knows the ropes by the time you arrive.
Getting the other carer on your side is part of starting to work as a team. Be prepared to listen to her take on the situation and try to keep an open mind. You will probably find that you agree with most things she has to say. If you do agree with her, then there may never be a problem with either of you taking a lead.
Keep an open mind about who is better at something than another. She may be better at cooking than you, while you may have better skills at feeding a bed-bound client. There needs to be no argument here, you can both get on with the part that works for you. Be happy that the other one can help you.
If you find that you disagree with the way she does something, take a minute to yourself and ask why you find it offensive. The reason needs to be something other than ‘she annoys me’, or ‘it gets on my nerves’. The reason you disagree needs to be because of client safety and well-being, nothing more and nothing less.
If you find that you are paired up with the ‘bossiest carer in the world’, you may consider sitting down with her and explaining the way you feel. Remember that you will be working with her for several weeks so keep it tactful. A thought which you should keep in your mind is that you can never take back anything you say, so be kind and diplomatic. Be prepared to give a little in order to keep the peace. You may find that a simple conversation goes a long way to set things straight.
She may never realise that she is automatically taking the lead, so you might tactfully suggest that there are some things that you can do and would like to do.
Even in the worst double carer booking there is never any reason to be rude and aggressive to each other. If things reach that stage where you simply cannot be civil because both of you want to be in charge, the best thing is for one carer to walk away. Contact your agency and explain that you cannot work it out between you.
Bear in mind that if you get to the stage where you ask to be removed because you and the other carer can’t get along, your agency will want to know from both of you why that is. Both of you will be leaving yourselves open to a rather sensitive discussion as to why two grown-ups cannot be civil enough to work together. Better to work it out yourselves if you can, than to leave the agency wondering if you are coping as carers.
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