What can I do if I’m not coping?
In the ideal world the live-in carer gets to take care of a dear, sweet old lady. They have tea out in the sunshine and visit the garden centre together. Unfortunately, life is not like that and neither is live-in care.
The reality of live-in care is that you are taking care of someone who is growing older and frailer, may be cranky because they are not well, and even close to passing away. Live-in care is stressful, and while most carers will manage to keep things under control, there may come a time when you simply do not know what to do or where to turn.
How do you know you’re not coping?
There is a certain type of quiet confidence which comes from knowing that you are in control of the situation. When this is not there, you may want to ask yourself if all is well.
You may not be coping too well if you are more impatient that you usually are, snappier and more irked by minor things.
You may feel that you are not as wide awake as you would like to be, because of several night calls and may be a little clumsier than you expect.
Your diet may have changed to either eating nothing or eating everything you see. You may feel that you are not getting enough fluids into your body – and you probably aren’t.
So, what to do about this?
The reason we feel that we are not coping well is down to only a few things.
You don’t feel supported. This means by either the family, your agency or your own circle of friends. For you to cope well you need backing and support, so if you feel you are not getting that, you should contact your agency and talk to your support person. Secondly, you should choose a time and place to have a conversation with the family. It is quite possible that they are unaware of how much pressure you are under. Explain – without getting upset – that you need extra help with the client. Finally talk to your own family or friends. While you may not want to burden them with the ins and outs of caring, you should stay in contact with them.
The workload is too great. Often as a condition progresses so the workload increases. This is a common thing in live-in care. And unfortunately, when the work load increases, no further help is brought in to assist the carer. Not surprising that the carer seems unable to cope when doing the work of two people as well as trying to take care of herself. Again, you need to talk to your agency, who will then discuss other options such as an extra carer, with the family. If you don’t work for an agency, then the family should be your first point of contact.
You don’t get enough sleep. If you have enough nights where you are called several times this will leave you exhausted and completely unable to cope. You will soon be unable to do your job properly and your own health will be at risk. This often happens with live-in care and before you know it, you find that you are a bag of frazzled nerves – not yourself at all. If night calls become a habit, you need to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. Do not let yourself be in a situation where it is assumed that all is well because you get up three times a night. Address this with your agency as well as the family right away.
To sum up
A carer who cannot cope does not work well. This places extra strain on every aspect of the job, so if you feel that you are in this situation, then make sure you ask for help.
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