It is the dream of every live-in carer to arrive at a placement where all goes well – the client is delightful, the house is a dream, and the neighbours are just great! Getting back to ‘real life’ we find that things may not turn out this way.
Sometimes friends and family regard the incoming carer as a threat, or as someone who knows nothing of the ‘situation.’ While this may be true, they often forget that live-in care is a job which many have done for years, gaining meaningful knowledge along the way.
Often the live-in carer knows more about circumstances than either friends or family simply because of their experience over the years. Unfortunately, there may be a ‘head butt’ situation where the idea of who knows the client best arises.
Does the neighbour know best?
It is quite possible that the neighbour next door does know more about some things. After all, she may have lived next door for years. She has seen your client age and deteriorate.
She’s come round on several occasions when your client felt alone and confused. She may even be aware of the medication that your client takes and the effects of it.
How do we handle the neighbour?
There are two ways to do this, one will work out better than the other.
Butt heads with her
This is not the best option because you will surely lose out. Even though you possibly do know more than she does as far as some conditions go, remember that she has been around for some time and knows the client personally.
She feels protective to a certain extent, there may have been several carers, some of whom she did not get on with, others who she did.
The neighbour most likely feels that she is the stable force, the one thing that does not change in your client’s life, and she may be right.
Carers come and go, she will always be there. Little wonder that she wants to protect her friend!
If you can’t beat her – join her
Ideally, this is where you want to be in the relationship with the neighbour. Make friends with her, get her on your side, be nice to her. Understand that she may be very fond of your client and genuinely want to protect her.
The easiest way to make friends is to smile, be friendly yourself, ask for her advice (you don’t have to take it, but she will respect you for it.)
Defer to her when she tells you what foods your client hates and what she likes to eat, it may make your life a lot easier in the long run.
Having the neighbour on your side, instead of against you will often make a placement a lot easier for you.
Final thoughts
Administering medication will – and always should be – your responsibility and yours alone but it does not cost anything to be friends with a neighbour who has known your client for some time.
Most people are good at heart and do not have an ulterior motive, and once you get to know the neighbour, you may find this out. She may also be willing to help you out if you need a little extra time on your break.
A nosy neighbour can be won over with kindness and diplomacy, and while she may never regard herself as your friend, she will not become your enemy!
Tags:
© 2025 EJOBBOARD LTD. All Rights Reserved.