As live-in carers, we all want to do the right thing, at the right time, and all the time. We really do not expect to have someone report us for doing anything wrong. Realistically, you could go through your entire live-in care career and never come up against this as it does not happen very often.
However, it can and does happen to carers, and can be one of the most frightening situations to find yourself in.
What do you do?
In all likelihood, the first time you will get to know that someone has reported you is when your agency contacts you. The person who has called them will have been told to stop any conversation as well as any contact with you. This is to prevent them and you getting into an argument which will only make things worse for you.
So, here you are, doing your job and you get a phone call from your agency (or the family) telling you to pack your bags as a replacement is on the way. At that point there is noting you can do, and no-one you can talk to.
Your agency will not disclose to you who has contacted them or even what the complaint is against you. Literally, all you will know is that you are to leave when someone else gets there. The arriving carer will not have any idea of why you are leaving, she may not even have been told the reason. All she knows is that she is replacing you at short notice.
At this point, act as if this is a regular handover. Tidy the house, make her bed and get the books in order. Your agency will have asked you to make your way to their office, and this is what you should do.
As soon as you can, get to your agency office and settle yourself in a room. Your agency may have already booked you into a room or ask you to find a local bed and breakfast. Get yourself settled as best you can. Take a notebook and pen and head to the office.
Even at this stage all your agency is obliged to tell you is that a complaint has been made against you so you may still find yourself in the dark. Try to be patient – this is going to be hard but do try.
While you are waiting the agency needs to do several things such as investigate what has been said about you. They will need to interview the person and verify that the truth is being told, or that things were done for alternative reasons. Believe it or not, many times cases like this are resolved because the person simply said things out of anger, jealousy or spite. So, wait this out while the truth comes out.
Two things will happen next. Your agency will decide that you are guilty of a wrongdoing or they will find that you are innocent.
If you are guilty, they may suspend you indefinitely or fire you. This depends on the severity of the incident. If abuse is involved then you will find yourself talking to people in higher places and may lose your right to work with vulnerable adults, namely you’ll never be a carer again.
If you are proved to be innocent you will be allowed back to work. Notes will be made in your files to the effect that you were found not guilty of the incident.
In an ideal world you would return to your client and carry on as normal. In real life you will most likely not return to that client again as the family will also have been notified and (even though you are innocent) doubts will be in their head so your agency may never send you back there.
What this does to you – as the proven innocent carer – is to place self-doubt in your own mind. You may start to doubt your own actions and wonder if this job is really for you. This is a very horrible time for anyone in this situation.
What to do?
If you need to speak to someone about the event, then do so. Take some time to get your head back in a good place so that you can carry on with another client.
Try to remember that you were found innocent of whatever happened, even though this may be hard at times. Try not to lash out at your agency for doubting you – it’s their job to find the truth.
To sum up
People can be very thoughtless when they make a complaint against someone, not realising that their own actions will possibly be the end of your career. What makes this worse is if they have reported your out of spite or jealousy.
Unfortunately, it takes time to sort out the fact from the fiction and patience runs thin at this point. Try to keep focused and busy while you wait. Try not to bear a grudge after it is all over.
If you feel you can’t work with your agency, then you may want to look for another one, although they will be told of the accusation when they ask for references.
Remember that you were found innocent, forgive, forget and then move on in the way which suits you the best.
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