As the holiday season approaches it is natural that our clients and their families want to be together, or at least visit each other at one point.

With the restrictions in place, this may not happen, depending on where you and your client live. While you as the live-in carer will understand the reasons why you simply cannot head off to visit people, your client may not. This can, and possibly will, make for some stressful times between you and your client.

Most families will appreciate any new and different restrictions and will be aware of what they can and cannot do, but for a client who has not seen their family for several months, this may just be their last straw. 

What can you do?

If there are restrictions in place that mean your area cannot go out or receive visitors, but your client still insists she is going to her son for Christmas, then you need to have a serious discussion with the family to clarify events.

The most important and the first step you should take are to discuss the issue. Talk to the family and ask them to talk to your client. Often an explanation from the family will suffice and all will be settled.

You may also want to discuss this with your agency. Often, they will be able to discuss the issue with a family member and explain the regulations.

If your client is adamant that she goes out, you will need to decide yourself on whether you accompany her or stay at home. This will never be a happy situation because as you will be told, it is part of your job that you go out with your client.

If it is unsafe to go out, you may be perfectly in your rights to refuse, but this can lead to other issues, particularly if your client cannot go out without your help. What if they get lost, get on the wrong train, wander off or fall somewhere and you are not there?

Is there a solution?

If it is at all possible for one family member to visit over the holidays, then this may just be the solution you need. At least getting the chance to see their family after so long, your client may agree to stay at home with you.

If no family can visit, then it will be up to you, the family members, and your agency to persuade your client to stay at home – no easy feat for some, particularly with a client who is determined to go!

You may ask the doctor to telephone and explain why going out is not possible. Often when advice comes from a person in authority, older people will listen.

As a last-ditch attempt to stop your client from heading off to visit her family you can call the local police, request a home visit, and ask them to discuss the issue with your client.

Final thoughts

If your client has mental capacity and can understand the thinking behind not going out, then you stand a good chance of convincing them to stay in. Unfortunately, in cases where a client lacks the capacity to reason, such as in dementia, you may find it hard to do.

In this case you need to enlist the help of other people – family members, doctor, and as a last resort, the local police.

Whatever you decide to do, you should, even though you put your client’s wishes in the forefront, take care of yourself and stay safe.

Most people will see your point of view and agree with it and will make an extra effort to spend some facetime with their relative instead of putting you in danger.

If you do not think that it is safe, or you are not allowed, to go out, then it needs to be made clear to family that you will not be coming, and neither will you be accompanying their relative.

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