Through the months of lockdown and isolation many live-in carers have found that they were living with the same client all year with no break or change of carer.
Some relationships will have been strained at this, to say the least, although some situations may have worked out very well.
What a wonderful thought that the client you stayed with so long got used to you, enjoyed your company, and now never wants you to leave! While this may be one of the biggest compliments you can be paid, the thought of remaining may fill you with dread!
Can I refuse – nicely?
Yes, of course you can! It is unrealistic to expect you to remain there permanently – unless you want to do this. And, yes, there may be carers who will want to continue to stay with that client, although they will certainly need a break for a time.
After staying anywhere for more than a few months at a time will leave you exhausted and often this leads to the situation becoming frustrating and unpleasant for both parties.
The age old saying that ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ is never truer here. After living in each other’s pockets for so long, tempers are bound to become short or strained.
Most carers who have families will be desperate to return to them and this is really the perfect reason to give for not staying a moment longer than you need to.
As soon as you know without a doubt that you can fly home to your family, you should approach the client or family and inform them that even though you have gotten along splendidly, the time has come for you to leave. No reasonable person would refuse this!
If you absolutely cannot see yourself returning to your client, then you are also within your rights to decline the offer to return. Many families ask for carers to return simply to keep a sense of familiarity and while this is a good reason to come back, you should be honest with yourself about your reasons for this.
Coming back to a client who has made your life hell through the months of lockdown – and will certainly continue to do so should you return – may not be the smartest thing to do. A polite decline stating that there was a personality clash between the two of you should be enough.
Often family will be aware of how difficult mom or dad is and will still ask you to return for the sake of continuity.
Should I come back?
By now you may have seen the best and the worst of your client, and them of you. If you still find that you get on well most of the time you may consider returning after your break. At least you will know the situation and conditions that you are returning to and it will be less of the new client syndrome.
Be honest with yourself. Things are unlikely to change if you return, in fact they may even become worse. Can you stay for another long period of time or does the thought fill you with dread?
Final thoughts
It is a big decision to return to the same client, particularly when things have not been ‘great’ between you so before you make any decision – either way – make sure you think about the worst times during the lockdown and how you felt then, before you commit yourself to another stint there.
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