With live in care work, it is not uncommon to hear that some of us feel tired all the time. Lack of quality sleep may account for this because it seems as if we are always waiting for that call in the middle of the night. We never seem to be able to completely switch off.
We can feel tired after eating a large meal or doing a lot of exercise, but this is easily rectified by a lie down or a good night’s rest. This condition of being tired is not chronic because we can rectify it.
When we find ourselves in the position of literally feeling so tired that we could break down and cry, we need to accept that other issues are at play and start to look at the causes.
A step further than simple tiredness brings us to a greater issue which many carers suffer from, namely burnout.
Exhaustion, fatigue, and burnout
There is, however, a huge difference between exhaustion, fatigue, and burnout but once we understand the difference, we can start to change things for the better.
Exhaustion
Exhaustion is often considered as the stage before fatigue and can be mentally, physically, or emotionally driven. If not addressed, exhaustion will eventually lead to chronic fatigue and then to burnout.
Fatigue
This is more than simply feeling tired or sleepy. Fatigue affects both mental and physical ability to perform effectively. Not only that, safety may also affected by fatigue. Often, it is a combination of events that leave us fatigued.
Long hours at work, excessive overtime, job monotony, and boredom will contribute, as will lifestyle. Constant late nights will play a part in leaving us fatigued. Most of us know that stress is bad for us, and constant stress will add to fatigue.
Fatigue can be overcome by simple changes to the things that are wearing us down. This is a matter of changing some habits, handling our stress, and learning to relax.
The difference between exhaustion and fatigue
It is often hard to tell the difference between these but what will give a good indication is how quickly we recover.
Often a good night’s rest, or a hot shower will be enough to revive us but needing to take a week holiday of sick leave from work indicates that it is more than just exhaustion and can be chronic fatigue.
Fatigue can often take several months to see an improvement and is more than simply a change in lifestyle.
Burnout
Because it is dependent on the length of time and intensity burnout can be harder to treat and take longer to recover from. Some people may even need to resort to a complete change of career to help them recover.
While not everyone may need such drastic measures, you may find that counselling will help to develop different coping mechanisms and change of career may not be necessary.
The WHO describes burnout as ‘a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.’
Unfortunately, it is common for live-in carers to feel that they are heading towards a burnout, where they actually look forward to finding another job.
Burnout leaves us with feelings of depleted energy levels as well as a mental distancing from the client we work with. We may think that our career is no longer in our control and take on a cynical approach.
Signs of an emotional burnout (which often affects live-in carers)
· Self-doubt
· Relentless sense of failure
· Loss of motivation
· Feeling trapped and helpless
· Feeling alone in the world with no support
· Negative and cynical outlook
· Less satisfaction with our work
What can we do about this?
Before you throw in the towel and head for the classified section, stop and think. There are some things that you can do to works these feelings out. It may take time, and ultimately you may still head off after a different career, but you may want to take a few simple steps first.
Write it down
Get a notebook and write down the good things that you have done. Note every single thing you have achieved, no matter how small it may seem. You should also write down some reasons why you feel so tired you could cry – lack of sleep will no doubt factor into this! This will give you an idea of why you feel exhausted all the time.
Hug yourself
Sometimes as carers we are so busy helping and loving others – clients, families, and even neighbors that we forget to love ourselves. We gladly support others but seem to forget about supporting ourselves. We seem to be far harder on ourselves than we are on others. We overlook shortcomings in others but are super critical on ourselves. Time to stop and be gentle on yourself. Treat yourself the way you treat others – kindly and with compassion.
Find out what your body needs right now
Many women will say that after any intense experience like a burnout or a huge shock, it takes the body some time for the stress hormones to be released from the body.
What does your body need right now? Whether it is to dance, have a hot bath, get a massage, or eat chocolate – do it!
And now talk
This is an important step to recovery. Talking will show you that you are not alone. It will also afford you support from people who may have been there before.
Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself and think that you are alone in this, because you are not. Join a carer chat group, tell a neighbor, even posting on Facebook will bring you support from people you may not even know.
Ask for help
Delegate! Tell the family you simply cannot cope with those night calls. Ask for their advice. Decline to cook Sunday dinner for the entire family – that’s not your job! Pass it on to someone else- politely.
Make a list of things that you need help with and set out finding a way to get help. You may be surprised where that help comes from.
Final thoughts
The key words in the case of exhaustion, fatigue and burnout are ‘rest and replenish.’ Leave the world to solve its own problems and start to take care of yourself.
Once you have faced the issue of exhaustion, fatigue, and burnout you may find that you are better able to deal with the day-to-day issues with your client in a calmer and more focused manner.
Never be tempted to struggle on because you will not win. Remember that a problem shared is always a problem halved.
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