During the lockdown it was quite common to feel down. This may even have been more pertinent when working as a live-in carer with no chance of getting home or seeing family for several months.
Depression, frustration and feeling stressed seemed to be a normal part of our days back when the lockdown started.
Most people coped with lockdown, and even managed to keep looking on the bright side. Many carers found ways to deal with the forced isolation and stay busy.
As the weeks turned into months being in lockdown – while never being ‘normal’ – was something we simply had to get on with.
So, why now, with lockdown easing, are we still feeling stressed?
Dr Chi-Chi Obuaya, a consultant psychiatrist says that in a situation like the lockdown, stress is the normal response. It can in fact be helpful and improve our performance.
Prolonged stress, as we find ourselves in now, can be problematic. The pandemic has had different phases, says the doctor. The initial stage can be likened to the honeymoon period of any relationship.
At the beginning of the lockdown we may have had flurries of activity where we felt energised, even though we could not go out. Around June, when we were still in lockdown many people realised that a large part of the year had simply passed by.
People began to get edgy and irritable, we disagreed with the way the lockdown was handled, and we certainly did not enjoy being kept inside! We also started to worry more about when – if ever – we would see our families again.
Around this time, we started to feel anxious about our finances and our own health, as well as that of our client. Particularly stressful when family wanted to visit mom and we knew it was not safe to do so.
Dr Obuaya says that we could think of these events as traumatic. Trauma affects the entire society and is hard to define because there is no specific end. It is the uncertainty that gets to people.
Underlying stress can take the shape of guilt. You may think that even though you’re trying very hard, you simply are not coping well. You may have found that you have mood swings and are more irritated that you have ever been before.
Dr Poul Rohleder, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist commented that there is anxiety about coming out of lockdown and not knowing what the risks are. It may have been frightening for many of us to re-engage in the world again.
When the government changed the message from ‘stay at home’ to ‘stay alert’ they shifted the responsibility onto the shoulders of the public. As live-in carers we had to make our own risk assessments with not a lot of clear information. This will naturally leave us feeling stressed and anxious.
What can we do about this?
The first thing to do is to acknowledge our feelings. As carers we are really good at concealing how we feel. Right now, we need to recognize the way we feel and try to understand why.
Dr Obuaya suggests that we try to accept the reality of where we are now. There are no fixed timelines and ‘normality’ is going to be a long, drawn out process.
We should try to think in shorter periods. Think periods of days instead of weeks. We should try to control the things we can such as sleeping, eating and exercise.
While it is good to maintain social connections, we should steer clear of negativity and focus on conversations which have a ‘lightness’ to them.
Activities such as yoga and meditation will help to keep heart rates and blood pressure lower.
What about families?
Right now, it is important that we create our own boundaries. If we are worried about a social gathering then perhaps use a phrase like ‘thanks for the invitation, but I’m not comfortable with that yet.’
It is important that we communicate our concerns with family and friends who may feel inclined to ‘just pop in for tea and a chat.’
To sum up
It may be difficult to not feel gloomy right now, in fact this is a completely normal response. We are in a difficult time, with no clear end in sight.
By trying to balance negativity, think about what we have to be grateful for, and taking small steps each day, we will cope.
As carers we have the ability to adapt to different situations. One day things will go back to normality, even if this is not what we are used to.
Staying positive, keeping communications positive and taking small steps to get through the day will ensure that we all ‘get there in the end.’
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