For a new live-in carer, you may be concerned about whether you and your client like each other. It is quite possible that at first you both regard each other with caution until you are sure of each other.

If you think about live-in care from your client’s side, you will realise that they are either willingly or unwillingly letting a stranger into their home. They are at their most vulnerable and may not trust you. Understandably, until you have become friends, there may be tension.

But what happens if you really like your client?

Many carers, simply because of the nature of the job try not to let themselves become emotionally attached to their client.

The obvious reason is because, sooner or later, the client will pass away. Once you have been caring for some time you may have had more than one client die, and this can leave you emotionally exhausted. It may also leave you with the frame of mind that you will never become too fond of another client simply because they may pass away.

While there are some people who can easily adopt this frame of mind, not all carers can do it. By nature, carers are kind people who want to help as much as they can. If you can keep yourself detached from your client, good for you. Often you won’t be able to.

Is it wrong to care too much?

It is never wrong to care for your client too much. It only becomes a problem when it starts to affect their lives adversely.

If caring too much means that you become over-protective to the point where no-one else has any say about your client and their health, then you may need to take a step back.

Caring for your client as if they were your own family will put you in a very special position in your relationship with them. Once your client knows that you will never harm them, always be there for them, and always have their best interests at heart, you will find that you develop a very special bond with them.

You will also find that other people will notice the special relationship you have with their mom or dad. They will be more comfortable leaving them with you. They will not worry as much and they will leave you to ‘call the shots’ on things like doctors visits because you know your client very well.

Getting to know your client well and allowing yourself to become fond of them can be a very precious experience for both of you. A simple glance between you can comfort them because they know that you have things under control. A slight touch can reassure them that you care for them.

To sum up

Caring is not wrong. It is natural that if you stay with a client for any length of time you will become fond of them.

Accept that this may happen, and you may find that by letting yourself be fond of your client you will develop a very special relationship with them, one that will leave you with fond memories in years to come.

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