While very often a live-in carer will find themselves working alone with a client, with only frequent visits from family, sometimes you can be at a placement where there is a spouse involved. The spouse may or may not also need help, and this will be in your care plan.
In positions where the spouse does not need help, you may wonder if a relationship like this can work out without animosity. Who does what and when, and how does the spouse factor into the care plan are all questions which may arise?
Absolutely! In fact, it is essential if you and your client are to have a good relationship that the spouse must be taken into account. It is far better to make a friend of the spouse than to have a tense situation because neither you nor the spouse knows who does what.
On arrival the best thing you can do is to listen. Once the introductions have been made, take some time to listen to the spouse, see how they feel they fit into the full picture and how they feel about having you there.
Many spouses may have been used to taking care of their loved one before there was a live-in carer and they may be reluctant to stop. It is well worth taking the time to have a discussion about roles.
You may find that there is a certain amount of resentment because some things are now done by the carer. These can include things like cooking, preparing meals, and reading to your client.
In an ideal situation you do not want a spouse sitting around doing nothing if possible. If you can, get them involved somehow. Perhaps they would like to continue to read to their loved one while you prepare lunch.
Involve the spouse in decisions such as which coat your client should wear when you go out, and the route you may walk with them. Anything to keep them feeling involved is a good idea.
It is better for all concerned to have a happy spouse as this will rub off onto your client. With a little bit of understanding you can involve them in most parts of the day, and this will mean that they feel inclusive and still a part of the household.
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