How often should I contact the family?
When you start work as a live-in carer, one thing you soon learn is that family always like to be kept ‘in the know’. They need to know what is going on with their loved one, and they have a right to this. However, the question to ask is how often you should contact them to let them know the state of play with their loved one.
How often you should contact the family is different with every client that you work for, some will call you every night, or once a week, while others will expect a weekly or even daily update from you.
When you first arrive at your booking is the best time to clarify this question. If the family is not there to meet you, then make sure you find out from the outgoing carer what she does in this respect. If she only calls or emails once a week, then unless things change significantly, you can do the same.
Obviously as a client deteriorates, the family will want to be notified. You should then do this as soon as possible and not wait until your weekly update to contact them. While no one wants to be unduly worried, the family will thank you for your consideration in letting them know about any significant changes.
Often the family or next-of-kin live some miles away and it is impossible for them to rush over if anything happens. In this instance, try to stick to the facts. What sometimes happens is that carers will tell the family (unwittingly) what they want the family to hear. They may say things such as ‘yes, mom’s doing just great, walked all the way to the bathroom this morning’. In truth, what they may mean is that ‘mom’s fine, we helped her to walk all the way to the bathroom’. There is a subtle difference between what happened and what we would like the family to think.
If you must call the family with additional news, try to be factual and truthful. While most family members may be in denial about the condition of their loved one, they will appreciate that you are aware of the situation and being honest with them.
Conversely, it is not a good idea for you as the carer to call and let them know that you think their loved one is not too long for this world anymore. This is a sure-fire way to cause panic and then anger when it may be disproved.
To sum up
Families and next-of-kin have a right to know how things are going at home, so they will call or email to find out. If they always call at a time when you are busy, politely request that they call later or ask if you can call them when you are less busy.
Stick to the plan followed by the previous carer if things are still going as you expect. If things deteriorate, then call the family to let them know. Keep it factual and unbiased. After that, you should take the lead from the family. They may choose to contact you every night or prefer a daily update from you. If you let them take the lead on this and contact them when they ask, your booking will run smoothly and with less friction.
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