It is highly likely that the family or next of kin will want updates of some sort about their loved one. As a live-in carer if will be part of your job to keep a record of almost everything that happens to your client.
Family may ask you to tell them about appointments and outings that you and your client go on. But do they really want to know about the health of your client? And if so, to what degree do they want to be kept informed?
How much are you expected to tell family?
In an ideal world you would keep in touch with next of kin or family and give them an update daily (or at least weekly) of your client and their health condition. In an ideal world family would call frequently or visit often.
Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world and every family has its own criteria of how much they want to know about their loved one.
This can be a very delicate subject and you should handle it carefully so as not to offend or upset.
Most families who have loved ones with live-in carers know – even if they refuse to admit it – that their loved one is going to pass away at some point. Some clients will outlast others, but the nature of the job is that we care for people who are at the end of their lives.
Some families simply cannot handle the thought of the loved on passing away and seem to be in a state of denial. They may not be able to handle it when you tell them that mom has taken a ‘turn for the worse.’
Other families will insist on knowing every move you and your client makes, what they eat, how they sleep, and how the day goes.
It is a fine dividing line deciding on what to tell a family. The best way to approach this is to find one family member who may be the spokesperson for the other family members.
Often a son will be the stronger person and he can decide how much information to tell other members. No one wants to hear that their loved one is fading away and this news may be kinder coming from a sibling rather than from you.
How much should you tell?
Once you have decided which family member to use as the ‘go-between’ then you should be able to ask them about the depth of information you tell them.
Some people will not be interested in what you had for lunch, but they may want to know if their loved one is actually eating at all. They may not be interested in what she wears, rather whether mom is comfortable and pain-free.
It is worth having a discussion with your chosen family member about what exactly they need you to tell them. Don’t assume that all people want to hear the same amount of information, as you will find that some people will be happy just to have a quick update while others will want an in-depth discussion.
Final thoughts
Before you start to tell the entire family every single thing that happens through the day, it is a good idea to check and find out who wants to be told what, and how much they expect you to tell them.
Having an open discussion at the start of your placement will leave you in a better place, knowing exactly how much information you need to tell family.
No matter how much you share with family, it is always a good idea to keep you own records of day-to-day happenings, as well as keeping as much information about any other events or deterioration that takes place. Always cover yourself this way.
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