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How much abuse does the carer take from the client?

In an ideal world you and your client would get on like a house on fire. You’d have happy meals and pleasant days together for as long as your placement lasts.

In the real world with conditions like Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia in its many forms, you may find yourself with a client who is less than content and more aggressive than you are happy with.

So, what constitutes abuse?

Apart from the obvious things such as no time off and no privacy, there are some things that may also be a form of abuse, such as when your client with advanced Dementia kicks you and pulls your hair.

Having food thrown at you while assisting your client to eat and having them hit out at you when they are within range are all forms of abuse which are sadly overlooked most of the time by family or next of kin.

Abuse from clients comes in many forms and does not even need to be physical. It can be verbal, making you feel inadequate and insulted.

A point to remember here is that verbal abuse often leads to physical abuse if it goes unchecked or is accepted as normal. Just because your client has Dementia it does not give them the right to abuse you, either verbally or physically.

So how much abuse is acceptable?

No abuse should be acceptable although there is a certain amount that you will find you put up with for whatever reason.

This may be because you need the money from that placement to pay bills, or you have a very high threshold for tolerating this type of treatment.

Some people are genuinely far more patient than others when it comes to receiving bad treatment from a client.

It is unfortunately true that many live-in carers put up with much more abuse from clients that is reported to agencies or family, and because of this many clients seem to ‘get away with murder.’

The level of abuse that you are comfortable with depends on you personally and what you feel you can cope with.

Each person will deal with abusive clients in their own way, some will be able to discuss and reason with a client, while others may feel that exiting the situation for a short time is the best way to handle things.

You will find that in your initial training you are taught to walk away to give things time to calm down. Normally this will work well, although not in every case.

When you arrive at your placement you should have a heart-to-heart discussion with the outgoing carer. It is this way that you will find out when your client is likely to become agitated and how you can best deal with it.

Your breaking point?

Only you can decide whether you can deal with everything your client throws at you. Only you can call the shots about how long to stay and when to leave a placement.

One thing is certain, namely that you must never, ever feel that your life is in danger for any reason. You must never feel that you cannot cope with your client’s behavior because they are aggressive and abusive. 

Final thoughts

If you are ever in the situation where you are being abused, either verbally or physically, your first action should be to speak to someone – either your agency or the family. Failing that you should speak to the GP or district nurse.

Never keep quiet on this subject because any type of abuse can escalate until it is out of hand in a very short time.

If you feel that you are not happy with verbal abuse and that you are being pushed to your limit of patience, then you may want to consider leaving the placement. 

Sometimes it is better to walk away from a volatile situation rather than to be injured because you valiantly wanted to stay.

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