Ideally, every carer who arrives at a placement should have received the job description and care plan beforehand. Before they even set out, the live-in carer should know exactly what to expect.
This is often the case, although there can be some dreadful shocks, even though the paperwork seems to be all in place.
What may happen when a new carer arrives is that the placement starts off as planned, with both parties respecting each other, and then slowly the client may appear to overstep the boundary.
Suddenly the carer finds that she is expected to work longer hours, take shorter breaks, use their own vehicle without compensation, or worse, feel that the client is expecting more of them in a sexual way.
Inappropriate sexual behaviour can include, but is not limited to sexual conversations, jokes of a personal or sexual nature, inappropriate grabbing or touching, explicit sexual behaviour, exposure of genitals, unwanted touching, and sexual assault.
In most cases the client will be a male and the live-in carer a female, although reverse situations can occur.
It is important that the live-in carer who feels they are in this situation should never be made to feel that somehow this is their fault.
Let’s assume that the carer is dressed correctly and acts professionally. It is still possible that there will be a male client who will act inappropriately towards them.
Typically, a boundary line is overstepped because it was not clear at the start. Particularly in the case of a new placement it is natural that the carer wants to show they are capable of doing the job, they want to make sure that the client is happy and pleased with their work, and on the whole the carer will try very hard to make sure that things go well.
Boundaries should include all aspects of the day, such as the hours worked and hours taken as a break. While it is recognized that a 2 hour break should take place daily, this is one of the easiest boundaries to overstep.
Setting your boundaries regarding every aspect of the placement gives both the client and the carer a good idea of where they can and should not go.
While a certain amount of familiarity is fine, too much may result in the client feeling that they can take that next step and behave sexually inappropriately.
It is for this reason that every live-in carer should keep a daily routine of all important events and it is here, as well as verbally, that they will be able to document their concerns.
If the client is mentally able to communicate, then it is a good idea to have a discussion at the start of the placement, although while this may be great to discuss breaks etc., discussing sexual behaviour may not be welcomed.
A first instance of touching can very quickly be swiped away with a hand, and even an angry look may reset the boundary. However, depending on the mental capacity of your client, you may need to have a frank discussion with them.
Should you be unable to communicate well with the client you must take this elsewhere. You should definitely inform your agency if you work though one, and you should also speak to the family.
Sexual inappropriateness is never something that you should ignore because it will not go away.
If a client thinks they can get away with mild flirting, they will continue until the situation gets out of hand. At that point it may be too late to prevent a full sexual attack in which the carer may be injured enough to be unable to work.
Boundaries should be set as early as possible so that both client and carer know exactly what is expected of them.
If discussion has not worked and mild confrontation does not change the situation then you may want to ask yourself whether the placement is suitable for you.
Whatever happens, you must report sexual behaviour to someone, either your agency or to family/next of kin. While one carer may deal well with this, another person may not and may find that the client assumes that the boundary can be overstepped with every carer.
It is important to remember that you have control over the situation, you have control over how the client treats you.
Be consistent, so that the client knows that if the action is repeated, the result will always be the same. Never allow the same behaviour pattern to become normal because it will only escalate.
Sexual behaviour is never a good thing and should be reported right away. It will never go away and neither will it improve unless action is taken. Some clients may not have the mental capacity for a discussion, and if this is the case, you should find someone to discuss it with.
While exiting the situation may leave you out of pocket until another placement is free, the alternative may be far worse.
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