It is not uncommon to be at a placement where one or both partners have remarried and there are children from both sides. In most cases over the years, things between siblings from different marriages seem to work things out by themselves.
Much as we might hope this has happened, occasionally you may come across sibling rivalry with one sibling taking care of their mom and another looks out for their dad. This can lead to all sorts of issues, least of all being financial.
One of the issues that sibling rivalry can lead to is tension as to how much care is given to one person and who pays for it.
No matter how difficult it can be it is essential that as live-in carers we are completely unbiased in supporting either side.
If we seem to support one side of the family over the other this is a sure-fire way of creating hostile feelings from the opposite side.
Even though you feel strongly that one side is correct, and the other is wrong, as a carer you need to be seen to take the neutral stance in everything. If you cannot, and you are seen to take side with one family, no good will come of it and both sides may end up unhappy with you.
It is also very important that you do not side with the client you are caring for, particularly when he or she is upset with their spouse/partner and the other side of the family.
Never be tempted to agree with your client when she has a ranting session about how angry she feels her at the way her husband/family treats her, or how she feels neglected when he sees his family instead of staying with her.
Conversely, we should not be tempted to comment on an irate husband complaining about the demands his wife makes on his time. Let him have his say, get it off his chest and move on to another subject.
Staying positive is the best way to deal with sibling rivalry in this situation. Always have a good thing to say about the other side of the family, and if you can’t say anything good then remember that it may be better to say nothing at all.
Secondly, staying neutral is a good idea when siblings argue. At the end of the day, you may well leave within a few weeks so what business is it of yours anyway?
When all else fails, you may want to leave the room while one party lets off steam. If you are not in the vicinity, no one will be able to include you and ask for your opinion. This way you will never be in the middle of a family feud, and you will never be accused of taking sides.
You would hope that after years of having step siblings, family would have learned to get along. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
There is no reason for you to become embroiled in the family feud and indeed it is better for you if you can stay away from arguing family as much as possible.
No good will come of you taking sides. You may end up being the focal point, which is not what you want. Do remember that blood is certainly thicker than water and you are unrelated to either side of the family. Best to keep it that way.
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