In an ideal world, a client would have two live-in carers who successfully alternate every couple of weeks. They would all get along famously, and the days would pass by happily for all of them. While this is a great pipedream, that, most of the time, is exactly what it is.
It’s a common fact that every one of us can be extremely opinionated when someone strikes a chord about something we firmly believe in, so why should it be any different when we put together three people (or more if we add family) who have different views on basically the same subject?
The bottom line is that they should not always agree. Differences of opinion are good because everyone has another point of view which may or may not be better than the next person. We are not clones and as such will always have differing views on most subjects. What is important is how we handle those viewpoints.
We are all familiar with children who run off to a parent to tell tales about a sibling, it happens all the time. Hopefully most of us grow out of that stage when we become adults!
Unfortunately, not everyone does, and this can often result in one carer trying to vie for attention from the client, even to the point of belittling the other carer.
What makes this situation even worse is that the second carer may not even be around to defend themselves.
In fact, they may not even be aware of what is going on until it is too late and they find that they have been let go, based on possible fabrication from the other carer.
If you look for them, you will find subtle signs that the dynamics have changed. A client who has up till now been very happy with your work suddenly seems to find fault with things you do. Unless this is related to a condition such as dementia you may feel that things have been said.
When your client starts to compare you to the other carer, you should analyse what exactly you are being compared to and why.
Pay attention to family members who inadvertently comment about how the other carer does things differently to you.
All these are very subtle signs that you may be being discussed and possibly not in the best light.
This is nothing more than the old green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head, jealousy, plain and simple. Perhaps your client was very happy with you and mentioned it to the other carer.
Perhaps the other carer overheard the family saying that they liked you. Jealousy can be triggered by any small thing.
If the other carer feels threatened by you, she may resort to literally telling tales to make you look bad. Just the same as siblings, a parent may listen to the complainer. They may also, hopefully, realise what is happening.
Ideally, talking about things is the best way to resolve issues and set the record straight but with live-in carers our paths may only cross long enough to do a handover and then leave so in-depth discussions may not happen.
However, if possible, you may want to talk to the other carer and clarify anything she has said about you. Be tactful and kind, rather than taking the aggressive approach and you may find that things resolve themselves once you no longer appear a threat.
If you do not receive any satisfaction in talking then you may think about approaching family to at least put your point across.
It is worth remembering that carers should work together for the one sole purpose, namely the health and wellbeing of the client. Personal issues can be set aside as long as a set routine is followed, and the client taken care of by both carers.
It is a shame that one carer may be asked to leave, while the other stays because they have not been able to resolve an issue which is really, in the full picture, not as important as their client.
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