Changing things without confrontation

Even in the most perfect of situation, there may still be something that you feel could be improved. This is particularly evident when it comes to live-in care.

Every carer does things differently, and if you read over the records which are maintained by previous carers, you will see that things have altered over the months, hopefully for the better.

Family also have their own ideas of how they want things to be run, particularly if mom or dad can no longer make those decisions.

In the perfect world, all the changes are good and positive. Unfortunately, there will come a time when you see something that is not only wrong, but dangerous. You will be itching to change it. The thing standing in your way to set the wrong right may be either another carer, your client, or the family. 

You would either be very brave or very stupid to rush in and set things right without seriously consulting someone. There are some points you may want to think about before you set the cat among the pigeons.

You are the new comer. You may have just arrived. If so you will be seen as interfering. Worse, you will be regarded as something of a troublemaker. This is the time for tact and diplomacy.

1. Take yourself off somewhere quiet and private where you can gather your thoughts about what you want to change. Don’t be tempted to rush in right away. Take a notebook with you and write down the problem as you see it.
2. Now make a note of why it is a problem. Is it unsafe for your client or yourself? Is it just a niggle over something less important? Who is this affecting?
3. What would you like to see after you have changed it? For anyone to agree to change there must be a valid solution at the end. Something must be altered or stopped, otherwise there is no point of changing.

Having worked out the answers to these, it is a good idea to decide who to approach. If family is present, ask to see just one person in private. Don’t be tempted to talk to the whole family at once. They will all draw together and support each other. Remember that they have been living with the problem for longer than you have and they will justify it being in place.

Speaking to one person at a time gives you a better chance of explaining what you see as the problem, who it affects, and what you would like to see changed. When you handle this one-on-one you give a professional approach, with no threats of walking out if you don’t get a solution. It also gives the person the opportunity to explain why something is in place, without feeling that he is being put on the spot.

Having put your point across, and heard the other side, you should walk away. Don’t be tempted to remind people of your point, as they will become annoyed and nothing will be accomplished.

The very fact that you have handled things in a calm and clear way will give them the opportunity to adapt or change without losing face.

No one likes to think they have made a mistake, and if you leave them with no aggressive confrontation, you will find that they are more likely to agree with you and ultimately support your decision.

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