While we do unfortunately hear of vulnerable adults being abused, it is often not accepted that sometimes the people who take care of them can also be abused, sometimes by the very people we are looking after.
Carer abuse is nothing new, and takes place more frequently than is reported, possibly because live-in carers who work in the UK, and live in other countries, are afraid they might lose their jobs and be unable to support themselves here.
Carer abuse can manifest itself in several ways, ranging from blatant verbal abuse to very subtle abuse.
While it is easy to spot the more blatant forms of abuse, it is less easy to track, let alone report the subtleties of the more subtle type of abuse.
Some of the more blatant forms of carer abuse include late payment of salaries, refusal to pay rates for Bank Holidays, interference in daily time off, refusal to supply decent meals or an acceptable allowance, belittling in front of other people, and so on. All these are forms of carer abuse and easy to spot.
Forms that are not so easy to spot may be such things as vicious remarks in private, sarcasm in private but friendliness in public, shouting and screaming at the carer in private, refusing to speak to the carer, refusal to cooperate requests.
It is important to note that in cases where there are cognitive issues such as dementia, some incidents may truthfully not be classed as abuse, simply because of the state of mind of the client.
However, often a client may be of perfectly sound mind and be completely aware of what they say and do - and how they treat the carer.
In cases such as this it is not uncommon to find that the carer is treated badly in private but once family or friends arrive, they are treated pleasantly. Because of this it becomes very difficult to report any abuse. After all, the client’s behaviour in public does not mimic behaviour in private, does it?
The first thing to do when you feel that you are being abused by your client is to talk to someone.
If you are with an agency, then they are your first port of call. You need to document things which are upsetting you and keep notes of times and places where you feel you are being abused. Never let abuse become a habit, because unfortunately it can, and it will.
You may also want to talk to a family member. This can be tricky because unless the family has an idea of their loved one’s nasty streak, they may not believe you. It is, however, important that you do bring the subject up.
Pick one family member who you feel may be sympathetic and let them know your issues. Back this up with examples, dates and times of your treatment.
Often the family are fully aware of what is happening, they may simply be reluctant to do anything about it because it will require action.
If your own agency refuses to back you up, then should you perhaps be looking for another agency? These days there are so many needy clients and far less carers than some years ago, so it is highly likely that you will find another placement very soon.
If family refuses to see your side and accept that their loved one is abusing you, then you may want to ask yourself if this is a placement where you want to remain.
Vulnerable adults should not be abused - but then again, it is also not right that the carers who look after them, often giving up their own personal lives and families, are abused.
The sad fact is that many carers who are abused in very subtle ways simply continue with this treatment because they are scared to report it for fear of losing a job.
Abuse can become a habit and if you are on the receiving end of it, it will have a detrimental effect on your own life. Sometimes it is better to walk away from this treatment, rather than to stay and bear the brunt of abuse, even if it is from a client.
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