This is a question which is often asked at Christmas time, although it is relevant at any time of the year.

Your delightful client finds out that it’s your birthday and gives you one of the ornaments from her mantlepiece. You are thrilled because you really like that ornament. You pack it away carefully, planning on where you will display it in your own home when you leave.

And here’s where the problems start

Your client, while lovely most of the time, has Dementia. Every so often she has one of those peculiar episodes where she thinks people are trying to rob her. This is very common in people with Dementia and very likely to happen to any client you care for.

Your client sees that her favourite ornament is missing, calls the family in a panic because she thinks she has been robbed. You now need to admit that you have the ornament, packed safely in your luggage, ready to leave with you. Not a nice situation to find yourself in.

On your induction training you were very likely told not to accept monetary gifts from clients. You may also have been told not to accept gifts, and this is the reason. Unless the family knows exactly how advanced mom’s condition is, they may not see your point of view. You will be seen as a petty thief at the worst. Even the best situation here will leave you in a bad light.

How to handle this situation?

If your client insists on giving you gifts or money you should inform the family right away. They need to be aware that you are refusing these gifts and money. They may suggest that you place the gifts in another room to be returned to the mantlepiece later, and they may ask you to pass the money on to them when you see them.

It is never a good idea to accept money from your client, and if you oversee the weekly shopping money, you should keep a diary of income and expenditure so that there is never any chance of being accused of stealing.

You may think that this is somewhat radical, but it is a situation that happens frequently with clients who simply forget that they gave you a gift or money. Suddenly they realise that something is missing, and you have it in your bag. You know very well that it was given to you, but your client and maybe family, may not see things that way.

What if family give a gift?

This is an entirely different situation. If you are caring for someone over the holidays, then you may very well receive a gift from the family. It is acceptable for you to take this gift as they have all their faculties about them, whereas your client may not.

To sum up

Whatever you do in your caring career, you should always try to ‘cover your back.’ Make sure that you are literally squeaky clean so that no-one can point a finger at you, certainly not to do with taking something from their loved one.

Another way to look at this is that whatever is in your client’s house may be inherited by the children. They may not appreciate the fact that their inheritance – even in the shape of ornaments – is passed on to the carer!

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