This is an interesting question which you will often see debated on a carer forum. Unfortunately, the answer is not that simple, so it is worth spending time answering the question.

So, who cooks for the family?

Here’s the scenario. You are with your client and during the week you cook for both of you, you do the shopping and you take care of the cleaning and laundry.

At the weekend the family descend on you and your client – and chaos reigns. Peace is shattered and you end up running around like a headless chicken, taking care of your client as well as the family.

The bottom line with this is that you are not paid to do this. Your job (unless discussed and planned beforehand) does not include cooking and cleaning for relatives. Your job is to take care of your client, to feed them and help them. If you spend hours every weekend cooking for relatives, you run the risk of neglecting your client.

This may often leave you in a tricky position. You don’t want to offend the family although this is taking advantage of your position, but you are slowly turning into a frazzled carer with an extra workload.

What to do?

You should be very clear about your job description before you take this conversation any further. Sometimes you will be asked to cater for relatives, and this should be written into your brief. You should know how often this will happen and how much you will be paid for this service. It should not be a ‘free service’. You may be paid in money or be given extra time off.

If you feel that the workload is simply too much, you need to talk to the family and suggest an alternative. It is always a good idea to have a second option so that the family do not see you as simply refusing to feed them. Suggest that they bring a picnic lunch for you and your client instead of you cooking a meal.

Often sitting down with one or more member of the family to discuss this issue will leave them realising that they are in fact taking advantage of you. Sometimes families do not realise that they are imposing to this degree. They often assume that ‘its ok with you’ to cook for an extra couple of mouths.

And if you get no joy?

After a serious discussion and offering an alternative solution, you still are asked to cook every weekend for family, you may want to submit a bill at the end of the weekend. The going rate for cooking for extra people on a regular basis is £5 per head (agencies with suggest you charge this).

Once an invoice is placed with the family and someone is asked to hand over money, it is often a case that feeding them all again simply fades away. People may volunteer to take your client (and maybe you) out for lunch, or simply bring their own. You may even find that those prolonged visits which leave your client exhausted are suddenly shorter!

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